Beyond 'gay marriage'

Posted June 6th, 2009 by JTjaden

Beyond 'gay marriage'

The cultural battle over same-sex relationships has been relegated to court cases, chanting crowds and heated confrontations. At its heart, though, it’s often just about two people trying to get the world — indeed, even their families — to recognize and understand their love.

By Joel P. Engardio

    On my 28th birthday, my boyfriend, Mark, took me to see his parents and childhood home. We flew from San Francisco to Chicago, and Mark's younger brother drove us to a subdivision of ranch houses. Mark's mom was in the driveway, waving. Mark's dad was in the front yard, tending to the low wall he had been building next to the shrubs. He greeted us with the idea that he might want to raise the wall by one stone's level. He stood by as Mark hugged his mother and she began to cry.

    Mark thought all that summer of 2000 about telling his parents he was gay. We had broken up once over it. I wanted to date someone who was out to everyone, not just to his friends and co-workers as Mark was.

    Nonetheless, I understood how Mark's mom, a fundamentalist Baptist, would panic that the rapture would leave her son behind. My own mom, one of Jehovah's Witnesses, believed she wouldn't get to see me in paradise. She had been in mourning since I came out. Still, I felt dealing with disapproving parents was a less empty and isolating experience than trying to connect with family from the closet.

    Even back then it was impossible to escape the political realities of being gay in America. On the plane to Chicago, we read about civil unions in Vermont and wondered how California, our adopted home state, could have passed an anti-gay initiative that spring — a precursor to today's gay marriage quagmire.

    [...]

http://blogs.usatoday.com/oped/2009/06/beyond-gay-marriage.html